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Macbeth - Modern Monologues
The Dangers of Fear
My duologue was a collaboration with a partner who had been bullied at middle school.
They were speaking from their own perspective and I the bully's.
Our piece explored the cyclic nature of bulling, its inciting forces,
and the bravery that brings it to an end.
They were speaking from their own perspective and I the bully's.
Our piece explored the cyclic nature of bulling, its inciting forces,
and the bravery that brings it to an end.
The Products
In addition to the duologue, which presented an issue, my partner and I were tasked with making a creative piece representing a solution to the problem.
By Rachel Mendelsohn and Dominic ColarussoThe dim, middle school hallway is in darkness. Two teenage boys stand in a dream-like spotlight. A door separates the two. They face into the audience, not aware of each other's presence. The bell rings, followed by students running onstage and off again on the side where bully stands. The children leave, the sound of the crowd still in the distance.
The lights go on, still not reaching the brightness of the spotlight. In unison: Aftershock of the bell flooded the halls. Bully: I ploughed through in a current with those I considered my friends. We were a collection of double-dog dares, hollowed out by desperate insecurity. Dominic: Looks to the door. I stared down at the rapids, not ready to jump, not worrying about the fall, but the drowning. I was more vulnerable to the freezing water below. Memories of gasping for air kept me from jumping until the river ran dry. The sound of the crowd fades away. Bully: We stumbled into a cluster by the cafeteria and circled our prey. We never sat. I guess they did it to look more intimidating, but I did it to feel less vulnerable. Dominic: It seemed like that day was the exact same as all the others, I got lunch, I ate, and I completely ignored life around me. I don’t recall a specific spot I sat down at, because there was no one at the tables I particularly liked. When I was finished I had a usual spot to lay down at, and I liked to just close my eyes. I did not have many hobbies, when there were ones I enjoyed that involved a team, I was a ghost. Whenever I wanted to be seen I was in the corner of everybody's eye, whenever I wanted to be hidden the rest of the world went dark, then twenty spotlights were upon me. Bully: I looked for the worried faces and stiff backs we evoked every day, but noticed something different - threatening stares, whispers behind cupped hands, hate. I felt my stomach roll over itself and for the first time in a long time, I was scared. I promised I would never let myself feel that again. Not at home, and certainly not here. Dominic: I was put in someone’s crosshairs before, many times, some fired warning shots, a few hitting me, but never through the heart. How could I face people who shot at me, how could I even coexist with them? Bully: I found myself with a familiar problem, “How do you evoke fear in the people you are afraid of?” But I knew the answer by now, you go for them when they are most vulnerable, when you know they won’t fight back. So I started looking. Dominic: I’m not quite sure what I thought, I’m not sure I let myself think about it , I just wanted to be separated from everyone else. It seemed like everyone around me was aggressive. I could not fathom why people attacked me. Bully: It was glaringly obvious - he was different. He could just sit there, alone. And he was okay with that. He didn’t care. I know he never had to sacrifice as much of himself as I did to fit in. How could he do that? How could he not care? In unison: I feared what I didn’t understand. Dominic: So I hid in plain sight. Bully: So I kicked him. I single note rings out and echoes through the hallway. Dominic: I found myself 100 feet away, legs sore from inhuman speed. I was in an office, my face wet with tears, my tongue frozen in position, the bystanders finally appearing in the same spot I was, using their words to play out what just happened, myself going deep into the dark places of my mind, hoping to pull my way into the light where I could be alone. How could people live together in this world? Bully: I felt like I had just kicked myself . I half expected that I could take his place - fall to the ground and be alone. I could barely stumble back to the pack, but I did. I was surrounded by the people I thought I knew, laughing, not understanding the gravity of what had just happened. I forced myself to go along with it, every chuckle another kick to the gut. In unison: That set the foundation for the rest of my life. Dominic: He lit the match that made flames leap from beneath my feet, they hollowed me out over the next two years, fueled by the spit of everyone who feared me for my differences. I ended up as ashes that people could look down on. Bully: “How do you evoke fear in the people you are afraid of?” You go for them when they are most vulnerable. That’s the problem with being feared, you can never be vulnerable. I kept fighting those who couldn’t fight back, who probably went on to do the same. It was a cycle, and I couldn’t break free. I can’t break free. I wonder if he ever did. Dominic: I just rose from those ashes, a phoenix that flies wherever I like, seeing the world from a whole new set of angles opening the door for people, those who were like and unlike the ones who fueled the flame. Why? Who else will? I have witnessed a cycle of hate, which I’m more aware of now. Someone hurts another, they are filled with guilt. That guilt is an antibiotic for cruelty. The first time it’s taken it is extremely effective. But illness comes back. Bully: I tried to break free, but I kept being pushed back in. The days of guilt became hours as the time between incidents became shorter. Dominic: When the illness comes back, so does the treatment, but the more it’s used the more resistant the illness becomes. It isn’t cured as easily and more people are exposed. Bully: No matter what, I wasn’t happy with myself. If I lost sleep over a shove, I felt weak. I didn't see my father staying up tossing and turning after coming home screaming. He just stumbled over to the couch and slept like a log. Not me, I was weak and that had to be taken care of. But when I overcame my weakness, I felt so hollow. I was alone. Dominic: Luckily the opposite is true, the more people you help the more lives are made better. The cycle can be reversed. Sometimes it’s just hard to step back and understand what you are apart of. Maybe there is a point of no return: maybe some are too far gone, but I don’t intend to let that stop me from trying. Bully: Now I am numb. I don’t feel or fend for anyone but myself…I never look back. I try, anyway. Dominic: I am now apart of a different cycle, helping make people’s lives just a little bit easier. If we spend less time fighting difference in the name of fear, our loads will become lighter. Bully: I’m not sure I can, Dominic: But I will try, In Unison: To fight the fear and break the cycle. Dominic opens the door. He locks eyes with Bully, both frozen. The lights go off with another note ringing through the halls. |
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